Pointless Validation

it's personal, validation, private, coffee

There is something quite beautiful when we are able to keep things to ourselves. Being personal means, in this case, private. When others know too much about us, we become vulnerable. And while vulnerability can be an expression of trust, it does carry the potential for trust betrayed.

A truth of vulnerability is that being vulnerable with others means you open yourself up to their judgement. Which is a form of betraying trust. And even if you don’t think that you care for the judgement of others, too often perceived judgement starts a cycle of repetitive, ego-centric thoughts to convince ourselves that we’re right…or our position is valid. That’s a lot of wasted thoughts on inconsequential things. So be personal. Be private.

The meaning of life is all about finding the best way to live for you and no one else, so you may amass wisdom…which trickles out and influences the world through your actions. And while most of us naturally search for approval from our outer reality, it’s actually quite pointless. Because approval is just validation. And validation is the most limiting approach to our minds and our experiences. We must challenge our positions, not validate them, if we are to evolve. So instead, do not seek external validation for anything you say or do. Be personal. Accept that your personal world is meant for no one except you. If you find yourself justifying your position by way of oversharing with others (or repeating thoughts of justification to yourself) then you need to:

  1. Understand the social pressures which are influencing your personal thoughts.
  2. Think about what self confidence looks like to you and realize that you might be off track.
  3. Consider that, as Josie de Vere says, “You don’t agree with you either.”