It’s me. Your subconscious. And I’m confused. Well, if I’m being perfectly honest, you’re undecided, so I don’t know what you want me to do.

You Have a Tendency

You have a tendency to bend your opinions – likes and dislikes – to match those of the people you admire. It’s something you learned early in life. It was the time when not liking the same things set you apart from your friends, even your family. And not in a brave, independent kind of way. In a judge-y, “you’re not like me, I don’t want to be friends with you”, kind of way.

A = B and B = C, Therefore A = C

This was a pivotal time in your life. The equation was basically – agreement meant approval, and approval meant acceptance. Therefore, agreement meant acceptance. Agreement meant you could stay in the club. Disagreeing could get you kicked out. Or worse yet, abandoned. I’m sure you see what I mean.

It’s something you’ve been doing since childhood, and likely even before your earliest memory. And now it’s time for us to correct it.

Your Personal Truth

The Knight of Swords reversed because you need to be aware that you aren’t speaking your truth to me. In other words, you’re not being honest with yourself. And I don’t mean your opinions of things which could be debated. I mean the truths about what you like, and what you don’t like. It seems a little odd to hear that you aren’t even honest with yourself about liking things others don’t. But you’re not. And this is what’s holding things up.

What’s more, you’re using your conscious mind to affirm/convince yourself that you like or want the things that people you admire want. The thing is, you haven’t actually decided whether that’s what you truly want. And until you admit it to me (yourself), I can’t create the experience of it. You’ll just keep getting more of this “neutral” you’re experiencing.

The Conflict You’re Avoiding

So now you know that you haven’t been speaking your truth to yourself, but why? Because at all costs, you want to avoid conflict. What conflict can come from being honest with yourself? Great question.

Deep down you know that being honest with yourself is powerful. And once you make a decision about what you truly prefer, it will come to pass. And if it doesn’t match the world of those you currently admire, you know you could (momentarily) find yourself all alone. And the prospect of loneliness is intimidating.

But what you’re not realizing is, every time you have been honest with yourself, you have always found new people you admire.

Honestly Decide

So here you are. Perfectly balanced on the fence. You’re so ready to embrace whatever those you admire say that you’ve put me (and you) at a standstill. It’s not that you’re blocking anything. You literally have not decided what you want.

So, please, do us (you and me) a favor. Ask yourself, “What do I prefer?” Start simple with things like, “Do I prefer this or that?” Work your way up to the bigger things you like…and be honest.

And while the world around you will begin to change, I can promise that knowing what it is you want will change things so smoothly that you will never feel alone. You just need to tell me what that is.

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