You know those proverbial moments when you have to make the conscious decision to move forward? The moments which you never actually recognize in the moment, but if you did you just know they would require you to take a leap of faith and leave things behind in order to experience what life has in store. These are also the moments that you usually don’t seize because you fear losing what you already have. So you don’t. And then years later you look back and see it so clearly and you say to yourself, “I should’ve.”

Well, you guessed it. This is one of those moments. No matter how much you want to reach your goal, you seem to keep thinking that by having faith and symbolically stepping forward toward what you truly want will cause you to lose things that you already have. The things which you truly love.

So I’m here to tell you that this is not how it works. What this actually is is you giving up on your dreams.

It’s Not A Gamble

First of all, you need to realize that you’re not going to leap forward into an abyss and arrive in vacant land all alone. And you’re not leaving everything behind. But because you’ve been so focused on what you have to lose, you can’t see that changing your life is not a gamble.

You’re not putting everything you have on the line to reach your goal, and if you are, you need to rethink your strategy. Because that means you’re trying to control how you get there.

What’s Actually Changing

Let’s get another thing straight. You are not changing your reality, you are changing YOU. And because you change, your reality changes. So when it’s time for you to move forward, like right now, you need to know that you will steadily (not abruptly) gain. And if you approach this correctly you will lose nothing that you don’t want to lose. So stop thinking that you’re racing to the finish line. You’re not.

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What About The Losing Part?

OK. Now that we’ve had that conversation, it’s time to tell you how to stop focusing on “not wanting to lose,” because this is what is causing you to stay exactly where you are. Worrying, stressing, etc.

When you take a big step toward your goal, it means that you change something about you. Not your reality. Nothing around you changes just yet. Because it’s all about your growth. Your experiences. It’s a gradual improvement of you. So if you want to keep focusing on what you could lose, there will come a time that you will lose it. And it will be another series of emotional reactions until you understand what I just said.

But if really embrace that you are changing you, and not your reality, you will very smoothly take what you want with you and leave what doesn’t serve you behind. It happens naturally, if you let it.

So how do you approach this correctly?

Baby Steps

I know this is a new concept for you. So while you may understand the concept, you need to prove it to yourself, because that’s the only way this is going to stick. So here’s an example of your very next step. And when you see how easy it is, and dare to practice it, it will change your entire approach to life.

A Silly, Yet Valid Example

Pick something you see yourself doing when you reach your goal. For this example, let’s say you see yourself partying on a yacht. Maybe it’s your yacht, or your wealthy friend’s yacht (because those are the circles you run in now that you’ve reached your goal). If you don’t have the money to buy a yacht right now, or even rent one, go out and buy yourself a plastic yacht. Fill the bathtub and get in with your plastic yacht. Then do what you did when you were little. Play. Lose yourself in play. No, it doesn’t matter if you think you’re too old for this.

And if you don’t have the money to buy a plastic yacht right now, draw a picture of yourself playing with one. Just get started stepping into the new you somehow.

Basically, see yourself as winning, instead of paying attention to what you have to lose. And then keep doing it.

The Moral

Your yacht isn’t going to fall out of the sky and land perfectly before you. You have to invite it into your life. And it starts by what you see yourself doing. This may start small, but if you treat yourself with even the smallest pleasure from your goal’s vision, it will have a big impact on how you see yourself right now. And it will snowball.

Remember that this is important because your focus is changing yourself, not your reality.

The Point

The more you play with your proverbial yacht, the more you will see what you’d like to add to it and how you’d like to improve on it. This will cause you to start saving money to buy a better bathtub yacht. And you will then meet people where you buy your bigger and better yacht who will show you new things about yachts. And on and on…

The more you play with your yacht, the less you will think about what you need to do to get a yacht. And it won’t even occur to you to think about what you stand to lose as you venture toward your yacht, because you’re simply doing something which brings you joy.

So ask yourself, do you see yourself winning or losing? Because it’s not a gamble. Either way, you’ll find a way to prove yourself right.