You may be thinking about how to be the “authentic you” lately. Maybe you’re even going so far as to think about what that really means and how to achieve it. With all the noise in the world, it’s easy to think that we need certain instructions to achieve personal authenticity. Like a “How to You” guide. And there are plenty of people willing to tell you their way of doing it.
But it always seems that when you follow the instructions you wind up not feeling any different. So maybe you give up for awhile only to try again later. You set out to find other instructions and follow them, only to achieve similar results. This is most likely because while you know how to get there, you don’t actually know what to do when you find “you.”
On my journey I have found that there are plenty of great ideas and instructions to find yourself. Problems seem to arise because you don’t know what to do when you get there. We all expect to magically feel a new way when we arrive. But that’s just not what happens.
The truth is, you can know how to find yourself, but you don’t expect finding yourself to feel so weird and awkward. It’s unfamiliar, perhaps a bit scary, or maybe you’ve found a whole lot of nothing. These are the things you need to go deeper into. Figure out how to explore them. It’s your journey. No one can take you any further, except yourself.
But often times, we don’t go further. The spectrum of feelings that can be experienced can be intense or undesirable in some way. Which is why so many people, once again, start looking outside of themselves for the quick fix that momentary, external stimulation provides. They’re after the reassurance of the feeling, and they know the things which will “instantly gratify” them. Little do we realize that the feeling we seek to stimulate is always waiting within ourselves. We just have to learn how to be alone with ourselves first.
Truth is, people can tell you how they found themselves. How they found the headspace which feels better to them. But they can only guide you to “you.” Everyone experiences themselves differently. Everyone comes to know themselves differently. Often times we struggle in life because we are trying to fit who we are (and who we want to be) into a mold that is created by people we encounter. We have to accept that this is impossible. We have to find ourselves if we are to ever accept who we are and who we can be. It must be based on us, and not “them.”
What You’re Looking For
So when you begin to practice being alone, quiet, comfortable, know that you are looking for the place in your mind where there is no judgement nor expectation. Just a peaceful place of understanding. Which is also the place of acceptance.
This is the “comfortable with myself” place. The place where “alone” becomes the place you rejuvenate, not yearn for the things you don’t have. The only reason we yearn for things we don’t have when we’re alone is because we don’t have them to distract us from being alone.