So You’re Looking For Love

Drawing of woman drinking coffee sitting on a railing with a cat and relationship advice

Settle in. This one is a little long winded.

All too often, when we want a relationship – whether it’s a new one or we want to improve a current one – we visualize the perfect person. Someone who will somehow instinctually know how to make us feel in some special way. They will fill our needs in a way that will make us feel as though we have no more worries in the world. Together you can have everything you’ve always wanted. *Pure Bliss*

But It’s Not All About You

Hopefully, though, you’re also looking to be all of that for someone, too. Because what we want is also what someone else wants when looking for a relationship. But we don’t spend a ton of time thinking about being what someone else wants. We think about finding what we want and what we think we need.

Here’s Some Relationship Advice

People seem to love relationship advice, most likely because they just aren’t confident about their next move. The consequences of the relationship realities they face are wholly undesirable. So if you’ve made it this far, know that you only have one job to do when it comes to your relationship uncertainty. This bit of advice will solve all of your relationship problems for the rest of your life. Have I piqued your interest? OK, here it is.

Learn how to meet all of your own needs.

If you learn to take care of what’s yours (without resentment) and find joy in nurturing the life around you, if you learn how to make yourself laugh and make yourself feel safe and nurtured all on your own, you’ll find that whatever your relationship is, there will be less struggle. Because you won’t need someone in your life. Whomever you have in your life, you’ll simply be able to enjoy their company.

It’s going to take practice and you’re going to have to relearn how you approach your life, but keep practicing. It’s so very, very worth it.


If you work on meeting your own needs, you’ll likely find contentment you’ve never had before. This can be troublesome, because you’ll come to learn how to fill yourself up. You’ll discover that you enjoy meeting your own needs. Things will be just the way you like them.

You may also learn that you don’t want to fill other people’s needs. You could even learn that you don’t really want a relationship in the first place.


If learning how to meet your own needs puts you in this position, approach your relationships in a way which encourages your partner, or potential partner, to begin to meet their own needs, as well. This will make your relationship complementary, not complicated.

For the Parents

If anyone reading this is a parent, keep in mind that it is your job to teach/show your children how to care about themselves, and their belongings, in a way which is healthy. In a way which encourages them to meet their own needs. This will help them navigate life with confidence and help to ensure their success in a world that isn’t as eager to give to your children the way you do.