Emotional Intelligence

emotional intelligence building confidence

To create the life you want, or even to just simply manifest a synchronicity on purpose, you need to know and nurture your emotional intelligence (EI). This is because EI is how you build “faith.” It is how you detach from expectations and gain the confidence it requires to not “try,” and to not control the way to the outcome. Emotional intelligence is how you come to know what you want. It’s a way of building the confidence to accept that sh*t always seems to work itself out.

Before You Go Looking for an Online EQ Test

Emotional Quotient (EQ) tests are ways to measure your emotional intelligence. But the truth is, humans really like to validate themselves with external sources. EQ tests, while handy, are just external sources that give you insights. These insights are intended to give you direction by making you aware of what’s going on inside of you. At the end of the day, you still have to do something with what you learn. So you if you need to do an EQ test to help get started on the right path, by all means, do it. But you already have these insights within yourself. So, before you pay for some algorithm to tell you about yourself, let’s look at the 5 components of EI.

1. Self Awareness
2. Self Regulation
3. Motivation
4. Empathy
5. Social Skills

Source: Emotional Intelligence Explained

Now that you know what the 5 components of emotional intelligence are, you likely know exactly where you need work. That is, if you’re honest with yourself.

Emotional Intelligence & Manifesting

Often, we use external sources to tell us what’s possible, and to determine our level of confidence. We use our surroundings to influence our thoughts, dreams, and aspirations. What we develop through these processes are our expectations…which are often bi-products of our cultures, which were established generations ago.

When we want to make a change, there are many people who look to the Law of Attraction and other manifesting reality theories for ways to get what they want. We’ve talked numerous times about the way these type of synchronicities work. What many people don’t realize is that the essence of these theories, while very weird in nature, may be rooted in your emotional intelligence. Because they are rooted in the confidence you hold in your vision.

So, if we are to start putting these theories to work and manifesting the life we want, we must start building our emotional intelligence. Which means we must start to develop our confidence. We must give ourselves permission to want what we want, not what we are told we should want. So, the first thing we need to do is turn your attention inward and develop emotional intelligence. We’ll get started with self awareness.

Step 1: Self Awareness

Lack of attachment, or “detachment,” is really just confidently moving through life knowing what we want and knowing that it will somehow happen. We don’t “want,” we just know what is right for us. When we know what is right for us, we move through life making decisions to reach the outcome. We are willing to be thoughtful in our decision making to ensure that what we do helps us achieve what is right for us. But in the beginning, this is a big ask, since many of us don’t even know ourselves well enough to know what it is we truly want.

This is where the first component of emotional intelligence comes in. If you are to be confident, you must first know what you want. To know what you want, you must develop your self awareness. Self awareness is becoming aware of your thoughts and your thought processes, much like metacognition. It’s a third party vantage of your thoughts. You must begin to get to know yourself, without outside influences.

Cultivating Emotional Intelligence | Self Awareness

When you start out on a journey to nurture and develop your emotional intelligence you close out the outside world and go within. You embark on a journey to experience you and acknowledge your chattery thoughts and biases, and set them aside. You redirect your attention away from external influences and step into your mind.

Often cultivating emotional intelligence isn’t a linear, step-by-step process. You will visit these steps out of order and in many ways. There is no right or wrong. But if you want to begin your journey of self awareness, you will want to become an observer of your thoughts.

Emotional Intelligence Meditation

Meditation is an excellent way to improve your life, mentally and physically. Your mind is simply not bound by space and time, and what you do in your mind absolutely affects your body. So it’s in your best interest to begin to cultivate your ability to focus and visit your thoughts.

Meditation is a commitment to getting to know yourself, as you are. It is also a commitment to improving your life. It takes dedication, but you’re reading this because the way you’ve been doing it hasn’t had the results you had hoped. Might as well try a different route. I promise, you’ll learn something new about yourself that will carry you forward. You just have to be willing to accept that what you want is different from what you’ve thought all along.

A Splash Of Advise To Get Started

When you begin meditation, there are a few things to keep in mind:

  1. It’s going to take time to learn to focus. Don’t put pressure on how long it takes to settle in. I can 5 minutes or more to calm the chatter in your mind and get into a meditation. Always keep trying. It will get easier.
  2. Keep a journal near. As you observe your thoughts, write down their theme. Then ask yourself questions about them. You can use the basic, “who, what, where, when, why, and how” to get started. Always push yourself to dive deeper as your answers reveal themselves. “Why” is always a solid “go to” question to help encourage your mind to provide answers.


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