Choices | How To Not F*ck Them Up

Devil drinking coffee meme with words about choices

It’s funny the things you learn in school that you can apply to everyday life. You think you’re training yourself for a career or other application, but really, in everything you do, you’re learning how to live your own life…if you can see the metaphor. So today, I’m applying the study of qualitative research as we look at the metaphor of your choices.

It’s Really All About You

All the things you see before you, your family, your friends, your everything are all showing you how you see yourself. They are all you treating yourself in some way. They accept you, they reject you, they test you, they whatever…it’s all you talking to yourself. You just haven’t shifted your thoughts to see it that way. But if you can, you will see how you are treating yourself…how you’re fueling yourself, and how you’re denying yourself.

What It’s Not

It is not the tangible situation or person, but rather the THEME of the situation which needs your attention. The bigger the impact these people and circumstances in your life, the louder the message you’re trying to send yourself. Whether or not you listen is the choice you are trying to make.

I know that’s a lot to take in. So go ahead and reread that. I’ll wait.

Choices | How To Make Them

In qualitative research studies our data is words, instead of numbers. Within your words exists a theme. It is the researcher’s job to extract the theme. So, when it comes to making choices, think of yourself as the researcher in your life.

The process of such study of words takes time for the true theme to reveal itself. The more influential the choices with which you are faced, the more time it’s potentially going to take for the theme to surface. So plan your time accordingly.

But it is the theme you are after…if you are to make a so-called “good decision.”

Here’s what to do…

  1. Transcribe your situation. Write it out long-hand, and in great detail.
  2. Walk away from it
  3. Come back
  4. Read it
  5. Make notes
  6. Make more notes
  7. Read your notes
  8. Place your notes into categories
  9. Seek the themes within the categories
  10. Repeat Steps 1 – 9 until nothing more reveals itself
  11. See what it is you truly want
  12. Make your choice
  13. Accept it

This is how you come to understand the true choices which are before you. Because in the end, every single choice you make is either about making yourself happy, or not. The choice truly is yours…it always has been. You were just told you didn’t have one.

One More Thing To Know About Your Choices…

What you want today, may not be what you want tomorrow. So take this as you telling yourself that it’s OK. You’re meant to have new experiences…it’s a life. Live it.

So just remember, you can always choose again.

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